Dreams

As long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a fighter. I don't know why and I don't know how I came to like it so much. I guess you can say it's in my blood.

I would even dream about fighting. Not so much as starting fights or being a trouble maker but just having to fight in general. I've had countless dreams of fighting, whether it be with my brothers or a childhood bully. I remember when I was little, I used to have dreams where I wanted to fight and I knew I had the will to fight but for some reason my arms would get real heavy and I couldn't fight back. In the dream this is really scary to me, but when I wake up I soon realize that the reason that my arm kept feeling real heavy in the dream is because I kept sleeping on my belly. Some time during the night I would put my arms under me and against my chest. I guess I would have my arms there long enough that they would fall asleep due to lack of blood flow. It's crazy how the way you sleep can affect the way you dream.

Even though I absolutely love the art of fighting, I do know that there is a downside to fighting. For every yin there is his equal and opposite partner, yang. Growing up on 19Th and Russell st. in Covington, KY, I know all to well what it means to have to fight to survive. I've been in countless fights, most of which I didn't want to be in but had no choice but to defend my self.

I have only been beat up one time in my life, not counting the many times my older brother had beat me up. This was not a fair fight. I was all alone against five or six, I can't really remember. Although, this was a lost battle, I got up to fight another day. You might think that this experience would make me scared to fight again, or scared to live in my neighborhood, but this is not the case with me.

The next day, I held my head high, black eye and all. To me this was just a battle wound and I was ready for more. I didn't fall back into submission from a five on one beat down. I stepped into determination. I was to determined to prove that I am a fighter, I will not go down without a fight. From that day on, I was never scared of any one man again.

Whether fighting is to be good or bad, for some reason the world keeps calling me back to it. I guess you could call it fate....I wouldn't but you could. I am fortunate enough to have found a positive way to still fight, let out aggression, and overall reduce any unwanted stress. Coming back to the fate comment I made earlier....I wouldn't call it fate, but I would call it a blessing.